Functional Movement Training: Beyond Traditional Exercise

From Couch Potato to Primal Hunter-Gatherer

You there, lounging about on your ergonomic chair, scrolling through your smartphone, and dreaming of a time when you can venture into the great outdoors without a face mask or a socially distanced queue. Have you ever wondered if our ancestors, the magnificent primeval hunter-gatherers, would be appalled at our sedentary lifestyles and our idea of exercise?

I mean, who thought that exercising in a confined, air-conditioned room surrounded by mirrors and grunting individuals was what our bodies truly needed? Enter functional movement training, the answer to our ancestors" disapproving looks and the way to move like a true Homo sapiens.

Functional Movement: What the Cavemen Did

Functional movement training is no modern discovery; it's how our ancestors have been living and surviving for millennia. It's about moving your body in the way it was designed. Picture Tarzan, swinging through the jungle with grace, strength, and agility - that's functional movement in a nutshell.

Our modern exercise regimens, such as bicep curls and leg presses, focus on isolated muscle groups - which seems pretty pointless when you really think about it. When was the last time you needed to curl a heavy object towards your chest and then slowly lower it back down, all while keeping your elbow locked in place? Never happened to me, and I'd bet it never happened to Tarzan either.

Functional movement training focuses on the movements that we use in everyday life, such as squatting, pushing, pulling, and twisting. These are the movements that help you carry a heavy load of groceries, pick up your child, or swing from a vine to save Jane from imminent peril.

Practical Advice for Aspiring Primal Beings

If you're looking to embrace your inner Neanderthal and adopt functional movement training, here are some practical tips:
  • Learn to squat: I don't mean the dreaded, heavy barbell back squat. I mean the deep, primal squat that our ancestors used when they sat down to snack on some tasty saber-toothed tiger. This squat is an excellent way to build strength in your hips, knees, and ankle joints.
  • Master the art of crawling: Channel your inner baby, and crawl your way to functional fitness. Crawling is a fantastic way to improve your core strength and shoulder stability, which are crucial for everyday movements like standing up from a chair or reaching for that coffee mug on the top shelf. You'll also be able to terrify your friends and family with your newfound ability to slither across the floor like a primordial serpent.
  • Become a push-up pro: Forget the bench press - the classic push-up is the way to go. This simple exercise not only strengthens your chest, shoulders, and arms but also builds total body stability. Plus, you can do it anywhere, anytime - even in the middle of a conference call, if you so desire.
  • Hone those hinge movements: The hinge movement, like the deadlift, is essential for picking heavy things up off the ground - like that mammoth-bone kettlebell you're going to buy after reading this article. Mastering this movement helps to protect your lower back and improves overall athletic performance.

Take the Primal Lifestyle to the Next Level

If you've embraced functional movement training and you're ready to take your primal prowess to new heights, consider incorporating these wild ideas into your life:
  • Run barefoot: Forget those cushy, overpriced running shoes - our ancestors were barefoot, and they could outrun a sabre-toothed tiger. Running with minimal footwear improves your running form, increases foot strength, and gives you a deeper connection to the earth (and all the creepy-crawlies that come with it).
  • Climb trees: Forget the rock climbing gym - nature has provided us with the original climbing challenge. Tree climbing is a total body workout that improves your grip strength, agility, and balance while giving you a fantastic vantage point for stalking unsuspecting prey (or maybe just enjoying the view).
  • Improvise, adapt, and overcome: Instead of following a rigid, structured workout plan, try incorporating functional movements into your daily life. Carry your groceries home instead of using a trolley, climb the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator, or engage in a thrilling game of tag with your kids. The world is your prehistoric playground.
So, ditch the gym, embrace your primal instincts, and become a functional movement warrior. And if someone questions your newfound lifestyle, just laugh, squat down beside them, and demonstrate your impressive primal mobility. You'll surely gain their respect - or at the very least, a wide berth.

Article kindly provided by

Latest Articles